Mountains

"I don't know what I would do", "you're so strong", "I couldn't live without my kids" ... all things well-meaning people can say when they don't know what to say. The truth is no body knows what their reaction will be at the sudden death of their child, until it happens. Sometimes that reaction can be much more extreme than anything you have experienced before or maybe it is a lot more mild than you would expect. There is no rule book for losing a child. What others see as strength is actually just one step at a time, breathe, repeat. . . And yes you can live without your child. There may be moments where you might not want to, more moments than you care to admit but you find a way through the darkness, for them. After all they had no choice to live so you owe it to them to make the best of yours, even though the person you were died too the day their heart stopped beating.

After Lachlan died every day problems just seemed so ridiculous. I found myself frustrated and heartbroken that people could waste time and be so upset by every day issues. Don't you know there are worse things!? . . It was a dear friend of mine, a friend from the other side of the country whom I have not met but walks the same devastating path as me, that said; Everybody has their mountains to climb. Ours may be a little bigger than most, but it's still a mountain. This has single handedly been the most important advice of my journey and an anchor to my humanity through grief. 

Perhaps if we can all remember this from time to time we'd be kinder to each other and ourselves. It's a pretty lonely journey when it feels like no one understands. X


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